Artful, lighthearted....Special Exits...

Special Exits is a sweet memoir about a tragic time in any person’s life – taking care of your parents in their final days. Its easy to fall in love with all the characters in this memoir as we see them struggle to help each other, through health and financial problems, with unwavering love for one another.

Despite reliving a difficult time in the author’s life, Joyce Farmer manages to make the ending sweet instead of tragic. With a name like Special Exits and an ending scene where she cuddles the cat who once hated her, I ended up closing the final pages of the book with a smile on my face instead of tears.

The characters are so loveable! I loved reading the comics closely and finding that Farmer had included small jokes like calling the grocery store “Food for More” or Trader Old’s instead of Trader Joes (p56). All those small additions in the illustrations made the book just a little more enjoyable. Joyce Farmer’s sense of humor and light-heartedness made the book fun to read.

Despite the light heartedness, I definitely did feel for the characters. I love how deeply Joyce Farmer brought us into the lives of her parents (even though she wasn’t living in the home with them, I wonder how she knew so much about their daily lives. Were these panels guesses or accurate?). I also found it really honorable that Joyce Farmer decided that the most important parts of her life to share in her own memoir, were her paretnts’ final days (instead of just writing about herself). I have a lot of respect for the author for that. Its easy to feel how much, and how selflessly, she loves her parents.

She touches on a lot of heavy themes about the elderly – ex: old love, fear of doctors/anxiety around examinations, attachment to the home (immobility/inability to go out), feeling like a burden, cycle where old people turn into babies again, loneliness, physical and emotional pain etc., self diagnosing instead of going to a doctor etc.

I used to think that the feeling of being a burden was just something that indian elderly folks felt, or other elderly folks who live in the same homes as their children….but this book was eye-opening for me in that sense. I wonder if elderly people feeling like they become a burden is universal across all cultures? Or is that just for sick people in general?

Some scenes that were really powerful for me (for diff reasons) were p57-59 where Lars is crying because he’s tired of taking care of someone he loves so much. Also p62 where Laura is bathing Rachel…this scene was kinda at the beginning of when Rachel started to lose her mind and Rachel totally looks like a child in this picture with her arms up in the air, excited to be dressed/bathed. It just reminds me of a cycle about how we are born unable to take care of ourselves, and as our bodies age we return to that in old age.

I thought it was a random addition to add the scenes about abortion. I appreciated them but I wasn’t sure where Joyce Farmer was going with these references – Rachel advices Sharalee to get an abortion, Laura and Rachel talk about how abortions are necessary and women should make decisions that have to do with their bodies, and then Sharalee comes back to thank Rachel. I think the abortion issue brings Laura and Rachel closer, but I wonder if there was something else that I wasn’t getting with this thread in the memoir.

I liked the parts where Lars sees death before passing away. I thought that was a really interesting illustration that wouldn’t have been possible in the same way without the graphics that a graphic memoir offers. And then again when Lars sees death in the mirror while changing into his suit. It was just interesting to see what an old persons final thoughts might be, or Joyce’s interpretations of what they might be.

Again in this book, there was no critical analysis of race or representations of minority folks. And this has happened in most of our memoirs so far, but its still a little irritating. I guess not questioning the “dangerous neighborhood” panel with a black kid playing basketball outside (p75) is normal for Joyce Farmer’s memoir. I mean, I guess not everyone’s memoir involves questioning racial stereotypes or degradation. Also, the image about their one black friend “Charles” who they thought would help check up on her parents during the Rodney King riots (and the image of him smiling like he’s of service to any white folks who need his help) was weird for me (p82). But, again, I guess everyone’s memoir doesn’t have to do with racism.

Overall, I did love the memoir because I thought it was a really artful way of depicting a couple’s///someone’s parents last few days of life. It was lighthearted, warm, touching etc. Esp when her and the cat become buddies on the very last page J

“unmetabolized emotions we absorb from our parents”

“Are You my Mother?”

This memoir is extremely intimate. As intimate as Fun Home was, Alison Bechdel takes it a step further in Are you My Mother?. She gives the reader a glimpse of her most intimate conversation with lovers, her therapists and even with books. The number of panels dedicated to external conversations in Alison’s life seem few more than the number of panels dedicated to text (whether from books or letters between family members). 

With 7 chapters, Bechdel artfully opens each with a dream and closes each chapter with a single image for the reader to focus on. Sometimes the ending images are transitional (Transitional Objects), other times they close the main idea of the chapter (mirror).

I never got bored with the images in this graphic memoir. Bechdel did a great job of using her images to help the reader explore the environment (whether physical environment or the environment of the rooms she held conversation in – bland room with her therapist, in bed with her lover etc.) and help us peak into texts that were monumental of her own self-awareness at the time. The way she introduced us to these texts help me feel like I was on that journey of her self-discovery with her. I knew no more and no less than her about her journey at any given moment. Bechdel’s story telling in this memoir is still circular, though not as much as Fun Home. There are a few moments along her journey that she does talk to us from the present-day self – ex: “The irony of the fact that I’m writing a book about all this is not lost on me” (p152). This creates a strong connection between author and reader as it feels like the author is actually talking to us directly.

Flipping through the book again, I thought Bechdel’s use of color was interesting. She uses black/white/red throughout the book, but I noticed that she uses more red in scenes with her mother. Whether intentional or not, she decorates herself in red and her mother, but rarely any of the other characters. I was also never bored with the graphics because she does a great job with varying the panel size often enough to keep our attention.

 I found some of the ideas around narcisstic cathexis, the cripple game, reaction formation, and the transitional object particularly interesting. I noticed when I was reading that Bechdel spends much more time analyzing her interactions with her mother than actually “in the moment” putting energy into interacting with her. And then when she reads about “narcisstic cathexis” – where “you invest more energy into your ideas about another persona than in the actual, objective, external person” (217). This was so crazy. I felt like my own analysis of her relationship with her mom was being affirmed by what she was learning in therapy. This effect made me really feel like I was in her journey of self discovery with her.

I love the ending of Are You My Mother? With the cripple game that she played as a child. It seems to tie into all the findings about her relationship. One of my favorite quotes from the memoir is about the “unmetabolized emotions we absorb from our parents” (p72-73). I think this last scene really shows how crippled Alisson was because of that lack of intimacy with her mom, and also the special place that a mother has in helping her child. A mother is the only one who can help her daughter heal in certain ways, and as much as Bechdel doubts her mother will ever really come around, in the end her mother finally does (and all the work pays off).

sucker for true friendship

I really enjoyed this short!

I think im a sucker for stories about true friendship. In this short, the narrator is so dedicated to her friend Harriet. After my first read, I didn't really get the sense that the narrator was an exceptional friend, but after reflecting on the ending, i had second thoughts. I'm sure other people may interpret this story differently, but I thought it was interesting that the story both starts and finishes with a the narrator hanging out with some sort of unimportant friends. They aren't the ones she's really connected to. In fact, even though she believes in UFO's and extraterrestrial life, she doesnt even share her beliefs with them. She hides them! I interpreted her hiding her beliefs as something really intimate actually. I thought she loved her friend Harriet so much, the time they spent together and, after Harriet's suspicious disappearance, all the narrator wanted to do was to believe that Harriet was telling the truth the whole time about aliens. So after Harriet disappears from their town, she starts to re-believe (for the sake of Harriet? for the sake of honoring her as a good friend? or was it just better to think Harriet was right than believe that she was wrong and crazy in her death). But her rebelieving in extraterrestrial life is something so intimate between her and Harriet, and also between her and Harriet's dissappearance, she she doesn't share it with her new friends.

The way the author structured the frames feels like s/he really wanted us to focus on the characters' facial expressions and individual characteristics. This is quite different from say Lucky. None of the other memoirs we have seen actually focus so much on expression (consistently). I liked that. I also, from the get-go, loved that the characters are dorky looking. It makes them all much more relateable.

not much more to say! see you all tuesday.
(rhyming haha)
- shaina

layers in bechdel's work

Graphically, I found Fun House to be extremely engaging. I think Alison Bechdel is a great artist. She draws from different angles, uses enough color so that her images are not dry, and emphasizes facial expressions in ways that help me relate to the characters. As I flip through the text, every page looks different and important images, usually realizations/reflections/clues, are made larger so that the reader really gets a glimpse into her life. Her stories generally follow a regular pace, which is easy to pick up on, and I thought it was so strategic the way that she created P220-221. Looking at those small panels almost remind me of a strobe light (haha strange parallel), but when I was looking at those panels I could really feel the tension of that conversation because of the way she used the smaller panels to break down time.

One of the most difficult parts about the memoir, for me personally, were her references to literature that I was unfamiliar with. I feel like this memoir is not nearly as profound as it could be for a reader who is unfamiliar with Ulysses (like myself). I understand her love for English literature and know that literature was her way of connecting with her father, but I feel like I was unable to share that connection/profoundness because I am unfamiliar with her literary favorites.   

I like the story because it has a lot of Layers. Some of the layers I find interesting are:

• -       Bechdel’s family work at funeral home (never had imagined how this type of work would affect a family until reading this memoir) 
• Alison’s attempts to understand her fathers sexuality through the lens of her own queerness (how that leads her to critique and understand him both
•    Their emotionally detached home life and how they all coped with the emotional detachment (individually – image p 134)

While reading this memoir, I also thought there were some elements that could have been further explored. The biggest area that I felt was missing was Alison’s empathy for her mother. I was trying to understand why I didn’t see much empathy/exploration of empathy towards her mom’s character. She shows us scenes where her father is really violent towards her mother – ie. Cheating on her, calling her a “crazy bitch” (p72) when she finds out that he cheated on her. And I think Alison does feel for her mom a little bit, as she tells her to leave the home and that it has been enough, but she is much more interested in unpacking her father’s mysteries than her mother’s stories as well. I find this really interesting considering that Alison seems to identify as a feminist lesbian (always reading books about feminism). Maybe it has to do with Alison being a more masculine woman that she feels like she can understand herself more through her father…I’m not sure. But I notice that she spends much more energy unpacking her father’s story.  

- shaina patel

Notes on Lucky:

I had to push myself to get through Lucky #1. I found the first Lucky to be dry and dull. I was uninterested in the narrator and finished #1 feeling that I had learned absolutely nothing about the narrator (what she is about, where she comes from etc.) The one thing that I did enjoy about the Memoir over all is that there was drastic improvement in Lucky #2 and #3. It was as if the narrator put all three stories in order from least engaging to most engaging. What I enjoyed in particular was that I felt I could see growth in Gabrielle Bell’s story telling between #1, #2 and finally #3.

When I read stories, I want to become invested in the characters. I yearn to know their deepest, most dark secrets. I want to know about their intentions, why they do the things they do, whether I am interested in their actions or not. Lucky #1’s line drawings were so small that it was hard for me to read any expression on the characters faces. I found myself reading the dialogue/narration and looking at the characters faces, but unable to tell how they were feeling. I realized that in Lucky 1, Bell rarely put any eyebrows on her characters which made it particularly difficult to decipher tone with such small characters. I finished Lucky #1 feeling like the narrator was an artist who spent more time stressing about creating art than actually living her life and finding inspiration. It was frustrating to read about her struggles and her strange relationship with her partner (who I couldn’t understand if she was really emotionally invested in, or not. For example, some scenes like on page 25 where she tells him “You think this is easy for me? I have to put up with you!” after trying to comfort him make me unable to fully invest in her relationship or her character as a reader. And, again, the scene on page 28 where she fights with her boyfriend just confuses me because the narrator gives us absolutely no insight into her inner emotions. I was unable to understand her or empathize with her. The only part of Lucky #1 that made me think was the part about her nude modeling. Its interesting that both female memoires we have read so far include nude scenes. I found it interesting that she was forced to rely on her body as a resource for income.

I was immediately happy when I saw that there are 4 panels to a page (instead of 6) in both Lucky 2 and 3. I immediately also noticed a change in her narrating voice. All of a sudden, Bell lets us more into her inner world and thoughts. For example, on p53 we are able to sit with Bell in by the pond as she reflects. That type of reflection near the pond started to bring me a little closer to the narrator. Suddenly I felt like she was changing and that maybe my relationship with her was starting to change as well. On pg 65, I finally started feeling invested in the book. I love the advice that her friend gives her about art and finding inspiration.

In Lucky #3, I noticed a lot more facial expressions in Bell’s drawings. I loved the scenes where Bell is imagining/day dreaming and lets the reader in on her imaginative world (ex – pg 82 and p 85). I thought the empty thought bubble illustration was brilliant. This is the type of intimacy with the narrator that I was looking for in Lucky #1, but did not find. I also found the kissing panels at the end of Lucky #3 to be particularly charming. It wasn’t until Lucky #3 that I found myself flipping pages eagerly or smiling and laughing with the panels. While I did not enjoy Lucky #1, by the end of Lucky I found myself feeling connected to the narrator and interested in the illustrations. If nothing else, seeing Bell’s improvements through the series did provide me with some comfort.

- Shaina Patel

I found Imposter’s Daughter to be an entertaining graphic novel that gives the reader an intimate peak into the growth and development of  narrator and author Laurie Sandall. The novel provides a glimpse into the inner world of Laurie’s turbulent relationship with her father, love life (and her failures with men), drug and alcohol addictions, reconciling family life, and eventually spiritual realizations.

As a coming of age novel, I found it interesting that Laurie starts the book with her childhood, completely and blind-sightedly idolizing her father, and ends the novel far into her adulthood. The reader watches Laurie grow from an unconditionally loving child, into a child who starts to question, into an adult who starts to rebel and eventually falls into a rut of depression, addictions and unhealthy relationships. Laurie ends the novel after walking the reader through her spiritual realizations. Only in rehab does Laurie start to reflect on her unhealthy lifestyle and start to connect to something “greater than my father and greater than me” (218). Her family life never fully changes, but she resets her goals and accepts. Coming of age in various cultures are sometimes marked by ceremonies (like Quinceañera), marriage, or even legal rights, but in this novel Laurie suggests that her coming of age was actually a higher realization and acceptance. Laurie’s so-called awakening was one of my favorite scenes from the novel because the narration and images really helped create a serene tone. After rehab, Laurie’s face literally changes. Her features soften and her cheeks have more color in them. The scenes after rehab are quieter. Looking back at the narration boxes, pre-rehab much of the narration focused around the time of day and literally what Laurie was doing, but after rehab most of the narration focuses on what is happening in Laurie’s mind (more reflective). That shift from busy/logistical to reflective really pulls the reader in as Laurie concludes her memoire.

What I most appreciated about the story, was my ability to empathize with the narrator. For me, the first fourth of the novel was really loud. There was so much yelling. I was really interested (and of course had to read the novel for class) so I didn’t put the book down, but I was so frustrated with scenes of her father’s irrational yelling, intense facial expressions and tense situations. After sitting with so much intensity at the beginning of the book, it made it easy for me to understand Laurie’s wild phase in “A Discovery”. The images of Laurie’s innocent childhood expressions helped me empathize with her unconditional love for her father, while also understanding her growing frustration as she aged. I especially enjoyed the scenes where Laurie was both in love and frustrated with her father at the same time because the author created such an honest representation of both emotions. I could really relate.

Short versions seem to be formed around monumental discoveries, particular emotions or events. We, as readers, read her memoir through her own memory. The short versions all seem natural, like she is just informally retelling her story, as she might in an interview or a shrink.  

As a female narrator, I wondered what it was like for the author to draw herself. She does not delve too much into her own body issues. Laurie mostly explores her unhealthy relationships with men. But, what was it like for her to draw images of herself? What was it like for Laurie to draw nude images of herself expressing her sexuality? It is an interesting consistency to note that Laurie’s whole memoire revolves around her “finding herself” as a woman yet how she feels stuck, unable to understand herself until she uncovers her father’s truth. Despite that this is her personal memoire, as a woman she must understand the most influential man in her life before stepping into her own. She is second. Instead of self-titling the story, Laurie chooses to name her memoire “Imposter’s Daughter”, reinforcing the idea that she is a daughter before she is just Laurie. 

-- Shaina Patel