Special Exits

This graphic memoir is different than any of the other ones we've read in that Joyce Farmer's character in the book, Laura, does not share the same name as the author. In Mother's Urn: Memoir Dust the narrator is never named, and much in like Mother's Urn, in Special Exits the reader is able to identify the narrator/author based on timelines matching up, and also a feeling I got that had to do with the way perspective was presented in the book. Because I wasn't expected to immediately draw an association in my mind with the narrator-author and begin to parse the message, or version of the truth being presented in the book, I was allowed to become more engrossed in the story than I otherwise would have been able to. I think this is because much of the story is imagined (not first-hand experience,) and actually more like a story in that way than anything else we've read this semester.  

The style of drawing, I think, matched the tone of the novel. The black and white caused the reader to need to rely on contrast in order to uncover where the illustrator wished to place emphasis. This was an arduous task, especially since the drawings also display a close attention to detail and there isn't a lot of negative space in the panels. The difficulty of the drawings allow for the haggardness of old age and the exhaustion of caregiving to show through.

Even though this is probably the case for most everyone in class, since alzheimer's/dementia is common and incomprehensible in a way that sticks with a person, I have to say that the increasing deterioration of the mind/body of both Lars and Rachel seemed so real to me and so similar to the experience my grandmother had, in the way that it happens both gradually and all at once. For my grandmother, it happened about three months after the death of my grandfather (I think Lars and Rachel likewise die three months apart.) She had an accident and broke her leg while swimming, and that my mother says, is the precise moment she lost her faculties. For Rachel, the alzheimer's was greatly intensified after her accident in the hospital bed. Before the accident, there were certain things that kept grandma going- her five-o'clock on the dot scotch, her sewing, and her "programs"; although, my grandmother never watched televangelists. She was an atheist. After she was hospitalized for her leg, my grandmother insisted she did not want to be put in a home, so we moved her to Rossmoor, my mom sold our house in Alameda and we moved in temporarily with grandmother to get her settled. That was when she started putting whole pineapples in the microwave (I laughed out loud on page 31 when Lars almost explodes the microwave,) and telling the same story over and over again about the first time she met our jack russell terrier and he licked her face ("Is there something to eat or drink?" I could go on about the repetition in the book.) I think, in these cases, the more the loved one's mind deteriorates and s/he is unable to communicate in a level-headed way, increasingly, the family will tend to place blame on doctor's/ other caregivers for the condition of the loved one as a way of coping. I observed this in my own family, and in the way Laura starts to perceive doctors as evil. Laura's character doesn't actually know what the doctors are thinking about when they're on the phone with her. Eventually, the family accepts hospice, but the distrust surrounding hospitals is crucial before letting go. It's as if the family feels the need to fight for what the loved one is no longer able to fight for themselves.

There are a couple other things that have been on my mind since I finished the memoir, and that perhaps we can elaborate on in class. For one thing, I'd like to hear what others thought about Lars' character. I kept thinking as I was reading that there was some secret that was going to be revealed about him eventually- that he was hiding something. Why did he wish to hurry along Rachel's death, and why does he communicate that to the doctors the way he does? Does he actually hurt Rachel ever, or is that claim on her part just a part of her alzheimer's? What's with this co-worker of Lars' who he emphasizes is also a friend of Rachel's, but who might have a crush on him? Why include this stuff? Why make the reader suspicious of Lars, who is after all, the father of the narrator/author?

Also, I found it interesting how the author chose to provide the reader with glimpses into her life outside of caregiving. Page 35 shows Art and Laura dancing the tango, and Laura says, "Did you ever drop your partner?" Art must have been some kind of dancer. The move that he teaches her comes in handy later, when Rachel is about to fall. The sequence on 35 is so intriguing, though, that I want to know more! Art appears in the book infrequently. He's so understanding when Laura says she wants to move in with her father in order to help out. The absence of nearly anything about Laura's life besides her role as caregiver in the book leads me to see her as a selfless person. The book is about Lars and Rachel way more than it is about her. But the book isn't completely devoid of anything else. There's Art. I want to know more.

Lastly, can I just say how cute the ending of the book is? "Dad! Dad! Can you see this?" Aww! It just warms my heart.