Aside from drawing
readers’ eyes to a particular excerpt within a longer passage, Bechdel’s wormy
highlighting has the effect of putting readers in her position or letting them
“happen upon” a text from her own library with the text of Are You My Mother?. While her
narration is in capitalized, uniformly sized letters, the textual excerpts look
typewritten: the letters are ever so slightly unevenly positioned, and the
margins are a tad off-kilter. Ink levels
in the curves of letters seem subject to dissimilar degrees of pressure, as if
some keys were pushed with more gusto than others.
Bechdel visually cites Moments of Being (some of Virginia Woolf’s essays, published after her death)
by depicting herself holding the book in one hand as she holds a pen to her
mouth with the other. With the cover
visible to readers but not the page number, Bechdel could be reading any
portion of the essay collection. Emphasizing
a portion of this text with white outlining, Bechdel shows us where she may be
highlighting with that oral-fixation pen (perhaps only a function of habit
portrayed on the page and perhaps also a joking, pop psychology style nod to
the often Freudian subject matter of the text): “Then one day walking around
Tavistock Square I made up, as I sometimes make up my books, To the Lighthouse; in a great,
apparently involuntary, rush…” (Bechdel 18). A slightly larger excerpt of Moments of Being is visible to readers
before and after the highlighted section, as if a magnifying glass or just
Bechdel’s reading glasses hone in on one part while reading an entire page. The panel encapsulates the excerpt, creating
the sense that the quoted text has smaller margins or that this excerpt from
that text is partially cut off around its margins. With slightly larger font than in some books,
this excerpt seems close-up, as if magnified or really scrutinized by Bechdel,
readers, or some other imagined eyeballs.
Readers could be opening the pages of Bechdel’s copy of Moments of Being to see her highlighting
or readers may be in Bechdel’s position as she highlights.
On the other hand, the
typewritten quality of the ink distribution and unevenly placed lettering could
suggest that this is a transcript of one part of Moments of Being. Just as
she transcribes her mother’s slightly one-sided conversations with her, Bechdel
probably also transcribes excerpts from books that end up in Are You My Mother? As Sailor points out, Bechdel shows readers
some of the process of creating this memoir within the memoir itself. As Virignia Woolf describes “mak[ing] up” one
of her books, Bechdel shows readers the research and textual-visual
reproduction that goes into her own memoir.
Verisimilitude, even letter distribution and sizing, has its limits, even
for someone who probably appreciates symmetry like Bechdel. Nothing looks quite the same when reproduced,
just as the Woolf epigraph to Are You My
Mother suggests: “For nothing was simply one thing.”
Another excerpt from
Virginia Woolf’s writing (this time, the exact source is unspecified) flows into
Bechdel’s reconstruction of her mother’s words on the phone. Combined thus, the passage reads (Woolf, my
ellipsis, Bechdel’s mother):
But apart from her
beauty, if the two can be separated, what was she herself like? Very quick; very direct; practical; and amusing. I say at once offhand. She could be sharp, she disliked
affection. “If…I’m reading Sylvia Plath’s
diaries. She put her head in the
oven” (29).
Between the excerpt from Woolf and Bechdel’s mother’s
words are narration, “All these things will do very well to describe my mother,
too,” and Bechdel’s side of the dialogue with her mother, also depicted in the
bottom panel on the prior page, “But it’s hard to figure out what the story is”
(29, 28). These texts (and the memoir’s
text) seem to layer so that Woolf’s quoted “If” could lead into the other
phrases on the page: “If…All these things will do very well to describe my
mother, too” or “If…But it’s hard to figure out what the story is.” The first combination conveys the purpose of
the excerpt from Woolf. The second
combination suggests the hypothetical or tenuous quality of the process of
writing such an intertextual memoir. Meanwhile,
“If…I’m reading Sylvia Plath’s diaries. She put her head in the oven” invokes and then collapses Woolf’s relationship
to her mother and Sylvia Plath’s relationship to depression (perhaps even her
fraught relationship with Ted Hughes), also showing the purpose of so many
simultaneous allusions and so many broken up excerpts, left hanging or cut off
at the end (with a wide-open “If” that seems to begin a quoted spoken phrase)
to connect with other text on the page (in this case, especially other
dialogue). Re-ordered in whatever way,
this panel can be read without some of the text, if readers focus only on the
highlighted portions of the Woolf excerpt, which removes the overt first
person, “I” of Woolf, allowing the text to encompass several first-person and
third person perspectives.
The narrator’s sense of
guilt for never being able to fully care for her mother also stands out when
the Woolf passage leads into the reference to Plath: “If…I’m reading Sylvia
Plath’s diaries. She put her head in the
oven.” Woolf’s words merge with Bechdel’s
mother’s words, and Woolf’s troubled search for words to describe her mother
merge with Bechdel’s mother’s reading. If
someone reads Sylvia Plath, that person is retroactively responsible for Plath’s
suicide. If someone reads Bechdel’s work
(especially her mother, who says “I’m reading”), those works may send Bechdel’s
into a depression or toward self-harm. That
act of reading can retroactively distort Bechdel’s mother’s life through
mediated representation.; it can retroactively put Plath’s patriarchy constrained
head in the oven, in the house (and role) that trapped her at the time of her
death (akin to Bechdel’s mother’s constraints within marriage). The morbid cause-and-effect here evokes
Bechdel’s frequent convergence of her voice, motives, or desires with those of
her parents in Fun Home and Are You My Mother?, to say nothing of
her concerns over the possibly detrimental, painful impact of her memoirs.
In contrast to Virginia
Woolf excerpts, passages from Winnicott and Freud feature evenly spaced words
and relatively uniform font, the letters less often wavering against each
other, pushing against the consolidation of letters into a coherent visual
whole, a word, as in some of the Woolf sections. This consistency is comforting, streamlined,
reflecting Bechdel’s desire for a way to organize or filter perceptions. Both Bechdel’s narrative and excerpts of
theory often accompany illustrations of the psychologists cited, as plot-style
representations of the text, rather than as a concept-driven montages in which
time converges, intertextual references cut off and fragment into one another. For example, a longer passage of Freud’s The Psychopathology of Everyday Life
appears, divided off between sentences rather than amidst sentences, the
highlighted passages allowed more of their overall context (Bechdel 50). Like many of the theory excerpt panels, the
text is the minimalist star of the show.
Freud’s prose is certain of itself, while Woolf’s is usually
self-questioning (or features characters like Lily Briscoe questioning their
own perceptions), much like Bechdel’s own childhood diary full of “I think” marks
or adult diary entry from Friday, May 29, 1987 that ends with a question mark
(51). This diary entry sits opposite the
neat excerpt from Freud, its font inconsistently inside and outside of the
binder paper lines. Handwritten rather
than typewritten, the letters and words are less consistently spaced from one
another than in the Woolf excerpts (which seem printed or
typewritten/typewriter-transcribed). Rather
than highlighting her own diary, Bechdel just shows readers a small excerpt,
ending with uncertainty: “So I want Jocelyn to be my mother. Totally.
I completely admit it. How can I
have such a strong desire when I’ve only spent 2 hours with her?” (51). Whether or not there is a larger passage allotted
to this day is unclear, but Bechdel cuts off the diary page at the end of a
paragraph rather than in the middle of a sentence, as in some of the Woolf
passages.
Jenny,
ReplyDeletegreat post, you got into the way Bechdel coded the memoir in picture and in language--how the frame worked and defined the context. The passages she quotes are the foil for her own growth and the place she wants to be recognized. Beautiful points
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