Life is a palindrome: a word, phrase, or sequence that reads the same backwards as forwards.
In Special Exits, author Joyce E. Farmer chronicles the palindromic nature of dying. In moments of weighty transition, direct language can make the symptoms of a transition more acute. Language can put too much pressure on the transition causing it to feel too real, too human. Farmer shows the irreplaceable function of humor in these difficult transitionary periods where it functions as a veil, or a band-aid, for the emotional symptoms that transition often induces. In veiling these symptoms with humor, we are enabled to move toward a stage of acceptance and surrender.
What I'm calling, "band-aid-humor,"is most frequently used by the character Lars in Special Exits. Lars, as a man with values from the early 20th century, uses band-aid-humor to soften harsh realities and as a way to reinforce his masculinity. Maintaining masculinity requires band-aid-humor as it allows for emotion to be ignored or more often, implied as opposed to explicitly stated. Lars consistently upholds his masculinity, exhibiting what Hemingway referred to as "grace under pressure."
The Rodney King Riots are in full force, in section 5, when Lars calmly states, "I've locked up all the doors but we can't stop anyone who really wants to come in." There is a humorous element to this in that locking the doors of ones' house is a regular, daily safety measure. Instead of boarding the windows or arming himself with a baseball bat, Lars appears quite relaxed, even poised. He has one hand atop Rachels' while the other rests idly on his knee. Rachel, expressing fear, replies "I'm scared, Lars." In a perfect performance of grace under pressure, he simply and elegantly states, "Yes. But we've lived a long time," applying a deadpan band-aid to the dangerous riot just outside their doors.
After he has been diagnosed with lung cancer, Lars uses band-aid-humor to veil the emotional discomfort of newly developed physical disabilities. On page 165, Laura stands at the edge of Lars' bed with a reticent look on her face as she holds a large box of "Adult Disposable Pants." Lars, having anticipated this transition, cuts Laura off and says "it took fifty-five years to make the turn around...since I diapered you!" Though we know this is a troublesome moment for Lars, as Laura earlier says "there's no way to gently break this too you," Lars shows no emotion. Farmer's illustrations and detailed pacing, much like in real life, don't require straightforward expressions as the humbling and awkward feelings of the characters are implied.
Special Exits, in and of itself, is band-aid-humor, applying difficult but funny anecdotes of an adult child losing their elderly parents. Farmer honestly, delicately, and humorously depicts a transition (for both parent and child) into old age and death. The graphic novel comes full circle when Ching, the antagonistic cat, begins to love Laura on page 200. In the final frame, Laura uses band-aid-humor as she yells, "Dad! Dad! Can you see this?!" as Ching finally jumps into her arms.
An interesting trope to place on this piece. Lars was definitely a keep smiling kind of guy--a time heals all wounds...character. I think that some of this is a band aid to try to soothe the situation. Like sleep takes care of everything. cool, Anna, i hear you.
ReplyDeletee
I wasn't sure about the band-aid humor concept until you reminded me of the diaper incident--a place where I sort of expected darkness. But there was Lars with a joke. And I started thinking how the joke wasn't very funny. And then I got the band-aid. Lars is not funny but he jokes. He tries very hard to band-aid a situation with humor but I never laughed. You showed me how much more complex Lars is than I'd given Farmer credit for.
ReplyDeleteDarin
thanks for this, anna. i guess i didn't really key into the fact that lars remains mainly unemotional and unreactive on the surface. he does definitely brush stuff off using humor and lightheartedness, and we never really get a sense of how he's really feeling or responding, especially to the tough circumstances that continue to come his way. it also seems related to how he comes to accept things as they occur-- he doesn't fight reality or really dwell on regret, he just succumbs to the circumstances.
ReplyDeleteThis band-aid humor is pretty typical for Lars' and Rachel's generation. It was the same with my mother, who lived through the Great Depression, etcetera. That generation was tough, and if something reared it's ugly head (like death), then band-aid it so it's not as intimidating. Lars did it when referring to their declining health. My mother did when she would refer to her eventually death as, "When I shuffle off to be with your dad...." She had lots of little phrases to sort of soften the edge of things.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Lars' and my mother's band-aid references were done for -- who? To ease their fears and make it easier on their children?